Having enough energy is a prerequisite to being able to enjoy life to the fullest, being a productive member of society, and helping one’s family and others. This is a common theme in my book “The Art of Life Management” and for a good reason. In fact, if you do not have your health and sufficient energy to pursue your dreams and achieve your goals, you will not be able to help your family and others in a healthy, compassionate and balanced way. In other words, you cannot give what you do not have.   

Understand that helping others is a two-way street

As much as you may be willing to help others, it should be clear that you cannot help someone who does not want to be helped, and as such it is really a two-way street. However, it is important to discern the specific circumstances that can lead to resistance and understand the context in which you are providing help. In the “Art of War” this concept is best understood in the know thyself (your strengths and weaknesses), know the other (adversary or friends, cause, situation, company, etc.), and know the lay of the land (in this case it could be the circumstances and context in which one needs to operate). When you have a full understanding of the three key parts of the equation, the solution is usually much easier to see and achieve.  

Recognize the importance of energy and compassion in helping others

We all have needed help at one time or another. Help can come in many ways and at times even a smile or a soft touch on the shoulder can help as it provides the human connection that one may need, to know that we are not alone. We are much more inclined to give when our cup is full and thus, we need to be compassionate towards ourselves first.

Take care of yourself before taking care of others

You have heard this many times before but what does it mean to make sure you're well-rested before you start helping others? Is it physical, mental or spiritual rest or a combination of all three? We hear a lot about physical rest and mental health has been front and centre for many years and especially during the Covid-19 lock-downs. However, very few people talk about the need for spiritual health and if we agree that to a large extent the outside world is just a reflection of our internal state of mind and spirit then we are leaving a huge gap in peoples’ understanding of their own well-being. This is a huge topic and I will write more in other sections of this book and in a more comprehensive and in-depth way in other books already in the works like “Freedom of the Spirit – Escaping the Matrix”.

Remember that it's okay to say no sometimes

As you always want to operate from a position of healthy body-mind-spirit, it is ok to say no when you are not in a position to help or to do so may be damaging to yourself. Make sure that you understand the circumstances and context well enough to communicate effectively as you do not want to come across as a rejecting someone who may already be feeling vulnerable. When you let the other person know that you are not in a position to help now but would do so gladly at a more appropriate time, this may be enough to make the other person feel that they are being seen (or heard) and are not alone.   

Be patient with people who are struggling

If you already have a good understanding of the challenges that someone is going through and have a viable solution, you may want to refrain from offering it without first allowing the other person to feel that they are being heard and understood. Patience is required in most cases when helping others but patience without compassion may come across as being insensitive and condescending.   

Respect the boundaries of other people

Compassion also means respect, and nothing shows respect more than understanding and empathy. The extra work needed to fully walk in the shoes of the other, will help tremendously in establishing a strong bond of trust and respect.

Seek help when needed

At times we have all been in a position to need help from others. The strong ones probably need it more because in the pursuit of helping others, they neglect to take care of themselves and are too afraid to seek help, especially if their self-identity is now wrapped in this image of being the strong one. If this sounds familiar to you, it may be difficult to admit it to yourself and others but having been there myself, there is nothing more liberating that accepting your own limitations. Remember that even a rock will be worn down over time by the constant drip of a drop of water, so be humble enough and compassionate towards yourself to seek help when you need it.  

Understand the basics of human energy

We can only scratch the surface here on this very important topic, but suffice to say that without enough energy we are not going to feel good physically, mentally and even spiritually and be in a position to enjoy life to the fullest. Obviously good health is your primary objective and you will want to read the other sections of the book where I cover this topic in much greater detail. For the purpose of this article, I will provide the basic steps for having great energy:

1.      The power of proper breathing. Most people only use the upper part of their lungs when they breathe thus greatly reducing their intake of oxygen and their ability to create energy. It is like having a six-cylinder engine and disconnecting two of them, in the process reducing the power output by one third. In everyday life, that is the equivalent of running out of energy before the work day is over, never mind doing extra curriculum activities like sports, taking evening classes, or spending time with your spouse and kids.

2.      Getting a good night sleep. Good rest is fundamental to rejuvenate your cells and brain function. You know it when you did not get enough sleep as you get brain fog, feel lethargic and basically operate at less than optimum capacity. In fact, the drop in cognitive functions of people who do shift work, or those who  have problems getting a good night rest, are similar to being impaired by alcohol.

3.      Diet and exercise. A well-balanced diet will provide the nutrients needed, and exercise will pump enough oxygen through your body to nourish your cells which in turn will generate the energy that you need.

4.      Learn to manage stress. Even if you do the first three steps correctly but you are not able to properly manage stress, your energy level will be greatly reduced as psychic energy drains at a much faster rate than physical or mental energy. It is like leaving the lights on your car; the battery will get drained in less than two hours.     

Learn how to create and control your own energy

It is the law of physics that says “a body in motion tends to stay in motion and a body at rest tends to stay at rest”. Translated to everyday living it means that you need to get off the couch and get moving if you want to be healthy and have plenty of energy for yourself and others. When you are young and your metabolic rate is running at full capacity, it is easier to have plenty of energy, but how about when you hit your middle or even your more mature and wiser (older) age? That is when you learn to control your own energy by ensuring that the fundamental steps highlighted above are part and parcel of your lifestyle and not based on an ad-hoc approach of when you get some motivation.

Consistency is very important here and I found that an excellent exercise is swimming and for those who do not know how, or are not near a pool, a walking meditation with breathing in and out while counting to ten (start with what you are comfortable with and slowly progress upward to ten) will increase lung capacity while oxygenating all your cells and brain. Walking in nature is even better as it also helps to re-balance the energetic field through grounding and the feeling of calmness should last for most of the day. Doing this two-three times per week is a simple way to get the basics covered and if this is all you get to do, you will greatly benefit by adding years and vitality to your life.        

How best to use your energy and compassion to help others

Once you have acquired the skills to develop good energy, it is important to use it wisely especially when trying to help others. Remember that everyone is different and will respond differently to your help. Remember to respect the choices of those you are trying to help, and help others in a way that is respectful and helpful. Many times, you can develop high expectations from those you are trying to help ­– especially if this help required a lot of effort –and resentment may build. In this case empathy and compassion are required which may include detaching yourself from the outcome. Essentially, provide the patience, respect and space that one needs to feel safe enough to make the changes required.  

Finally, stay positive, even when things get tough. Maintain your energy and compassion (also towards yourself) when helping others, as you cannot give what you do not have.